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双林奇案录第一部之封面

bafeng0101(bafeng)

(#13746247@0)
Last Updated: 2021-5-27

双林奇案录第一部之95兵站：第一节 -bafeng0101(bafeng); 2021-5-27 {4674} (#13746409@0) +2
双林奇案录之95兵站：第二节 -bafeng0101(bafeng); 2021-5-28 {5835} (#13748364@0) +2
双林奇案录之95兵站：第三节 -bafeng0101(bafeng); 2021-5-29 {3220} (#13750193@0) +2
双林奇案录之95兵站：第四节 -bafeng0101(bafeng); 2021-5-30 {5870} (#13751595@0) +2
双林奇案录之95兵站：第五节 -bafeng0101(bafeng); 2021-5-31 {6220} (#13753996@0)
双林奇案录之95兵站：第六节 -bafeng0101(bafeng); 2021-6-1 {3120} (#13755887@0)
双林奇案录之95兵站：第七节 -bafeng0101(bafeng); 2021-6-3 {3867} (#13759007@0)
双林奇案录之95兵站：第八节 -bafeng0101(bafeng); 2021-6-4 {5650} (#13762835@0)
双林奇案录之95兵站：第九节 -bafeng0101(bafeng); 2021-6-5 {3714} (#13765058@0) +1
双林奇案录之95兵站：第十节 -bafeng0101(bafeng); 2021-6-6 {15434} (#13767396@0)
写得不错，非常细致。👍👍👍 欠缺一点点抓人的东西，容易让人陷入细节的陈述而感受不到故事的跌宕。比如说发现射击角度不对，火柴等等，加一些心理活动，或者冲突质疑啊就可以更加丰富和生动。只是我的一家之言，长文不易，还是很佩服楼主的。 -leeh1(非非); 2021-6-30 (#13819262@0)