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@Las Vegas

My experience

bystander(bystander)
本文发表在 rolia.net 枫下论坛I don't know how old is your child.I can share my experience with you.
I went back to work when my son was 3 month old. He was with grand parents between 3 - 7 month old, then with baby sitter between 7-20 month old. He started day care full time (8am - 5pm) since he turned into 20 month old. He was hardly talk back then, although he understood some basic english. He was not diaper trained eithere.
Now he is 3.5 year old, happy, healthy and contened.
The trick is not where he goes, day care, with baby sitter, or at home.. etc
The trick is we need to provide a secure, nurturing environment for our kids.
If we are physically with kids, but not understand and address their needs (emontionally, physically....), it won't do any better than senting the kid to other places..

Look at what you are doing with your kids, how you interact with him on daily basis. Ask yourself whether you happy with the way you handle him. IIf you often feel frustrated, tired, isolated.. by staying at home, then it won't do any good to you and your kid, then send him out and enjoy the time when he is back. If you often happy, fulfilled, then stay with him, enjoy him as long as you want更多精彩文章及讨论，请光临枫下论坛 rolia.net
(#2480284@0)
Last Updated: 2005-8-31
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Replies, comments and Discussions:

  • 枫下家园 / 望子成龙 / 是不是这里有人将自己的孩子送去DAY CARE呀?我想找一家比较便宜的,然后自己去上班.不能老关在家里呀! -christina128(小不点); 2005-8-29 (#2477749@0)
    • check this website,they provide home daycare near your home,not very expensive. you could call them to check. http://www.familydaycare.com/ -mengmenglu(mengmeng); 2005-8-31 (#2479965@0)
      • Do you have any experience with them? please share with us. Thanks. -canadacanada(我来学习学习); 2005-8-31 (#2480017@0)
    • 要是能自己照顾孩子到三四岁，最好。你就“委屈”几年吧，孩子会感激你的。头几年对孩子的身心发展很重要。送daycare的孩子，不少是家长的无奈的选择。 -summer88(鱼儿); 2005-8-31 (#2480040@0)
      • 好像不全是这样，kids need play mate, 如果能部分时间去幼儿园，是最理想的。 -rainzw(rainzw); 2005-8-31 (#2480103@0)
      • 自己带到两岁,最多两岁半就是极限了.孩子应该在适宜的时候接触同龄的孩子,习惯集体活动.对孩子的性格心智发展有好处. -newtoronto(一家三口); 2005-8-31 (#2480118@0)
      • 好像说反了吧，2-4岁是孩子性格形成的关键时期，到幼儿园看看你就知道了，2岁就送幼儿园的孩子和4岁才到幼儿园的孩子绝对不一样，适应新环境的能力还有和伙伴友好相处教好朋友的能力。 -pp_mm(◆反认他乡是故乡); 2005-8-31 (#2480144@0)
        • 不是那么绝对的。我外甥就是三岁多去幼儿园的，开始也哭闹，后来很长时间才好。现在大了，成了小孩头，经常放学回家都有不同朋友去我们家。 -citong(慈彤); 2005-8-31 (#2480184@0)
      • JM们这么认为，自然也有道理。我更多地是从孩子对母亲的依恋角度看。以前看过英国的一份研究，孩子由父母（母亲多了）带到三四岁的孩子相对聪明。 -summer88(鱼儿); 2005-8-31 {193} (#2480170@0)
        至于孩子需要玩伴，接触社会，适应能力等等，只要孩子对家庭有了很好的依恋，那些都不是问题。相反，如果做父母的不知道怎样同孩子相处，不知道怎样理解孩子，尊重孩子，同孩子一同成长等，还是送daycare好。
        • 你最后一句不敢苟同。 -rainzw(rainzw); 2005-8-31 (#2480195@0)
          • 讲讲看，感兴趣：） -summer88(鱼儿); 2005-8-31 (#2480198@0)
            • day care不是一个阻碍孩子发展的地方，让孩子脱离父母，自己去体验社交，集体环境，去斗争，妥协，合作，维护自己的利益，也是对孩子心智的一种发展。 -rainzw(rainzw); 2005-8-31 {184} (#2480235@0)
              同时，做父母的也需要一定的break, 去调节自身的情绪和社交等，再耐心的父母也需要一定自己的时间空间。

              所以，我倾向于part time，将day care作为辅助孩子发展的一种手段，而不是完全对立起来。
              • 适应社会是适应社会，聪明是聪明，不要混淆概念哦。心智发展 !＝聪明. -zhengjdc(zx); 2005-8-31 (#2480889@0)
                • 那么什么是聪明呢？ -rainzw(rainzw); 2005-9-1 (#2481427@0)
                  • 聪明的定义很明确，但是最常被人曲解 -zhengjdc(zx); 2005-9-1 {322} (#2482719@0)
                    聪明的孩子小时候都很古怪，特别不是很合群，但是能看出来特别与众不同的地方，比如某方面特别有天赋，一般来说是比较惊人的天赋，不是普通的什么小孩的兴趣什么的。

                    不过聪明的孩子人格缺陷都很严重，并且行为不是太象正常儿童，父母要小心观察。如果培养偏向性太言重，长大会缺陷，无法适应社会。

                    也许作个普通人真是一种福气。。。。。。
                    • isn't this the definition of 天才? -mixer(Beginner); 2005-9-2 (#2483061@0)
                    • 呵呵，这样“聪明“的孩子我可不要，或者，我宁愿我孩子“笨”一些。 -rainzw(rainzw); 2005-9-2 (#2483294@0)
    • My experience -bystander(bystander); 2005-8-31 {1190} (#2480284@0)
      本文发表在 rolia.net 枫下论坛I don't know how old is your child.I can share my experience with you.
      I went back to work when my son was 3 month old. He was with grand parents between 3 - 7 month old, then with baby sitter between 7-20 month old. He started day care full time (8am - 5pm) since he turned into 20 month old. He was hardly talk back then, although he understood some basic english. He was not diaper trained eithere.
      Now he is 3.5 year old, happy, healthy and contened.
      The trick is not where he goes, day care, with baby sitter, or at home.. etc
      The trick is we need to provide a secure, nurturing environment for our kids.
      If we are physically with kids, but not understand and address their needs (emontionally, physically....), it won't do any better than senting the kid to other places..

      Look at what you are doing with your kids, how you interact with him on daily basis. Ask yourself whether you happy with the way you handle him. IIf you often feel frustrated, tired, isolated.. by staying at home, then it won't do any good to you and your kid, then send him out and enjoy the time when he is back. If you often happy, fulfilled, then stay with him, enjoy him as long as you want更多精彩文章及讨论，请光临枫下论坛 rolia.net
      • totally agree. thumbs up. -canadacanada(我来学习学习); 2005-8-31 (#2480337@0)
    • 有条件的话，可以先去半天。作为第一代移民，我们大都不能给孩子提供一个很好的 环境。所以，两岁了，该学习与人交流，送幼儿园很重要。每天与固定的一些小夥伴交流。 -happyliveincanada(千金散尽还复来); 2005-9-1 {519} (#2481980@0)
      有条件的话，可以先去半天。作为第一代移民，我们大都不能给孩子提供一个很好的 social 环境， 我们这些住家妈妈和西人的住家妈妈很难有很深的交往，文化不同吗，孩子很难找到固定的几个小夥伴。
      所以，两岁了，该学习与人交流，送幼儿园很重要。每天与固定的一些小夥伴交流。看到很多中国人的孩子很胆怯，我想缺乏与人交流的机会，是一个很重要的原因。
      每天在家照顾孩子，做饭，打扫卫生的妈妈很辛苦，很难有精力提供很多有易身心的活动。幼儿园则不同，老师有经历组织各种各样的活动，活动很丰富。我的孩子去了幼儿园以后，感觉长大很多，能力强了很多。
      • AGREE! -whistle(狗狗); 2005-9-1 (#2482330@0)
      • No. Part-time is not a good option. According to my observation. The teachers keep a closer relationship with those full-time kids than with those part-time kids. -uwofri(0x2B||!0x2B); 2005-9-2 (#2483643@0)
    • 两岁半的女儿今天第一天DAYCARE 刚回来. -lookahead1234(来来); 2005-9-1 {699} (#2482404@0)
      她今天的表现可以说是AMAZING. 没有哭, 睡了午觉, 交了新朋友. 见到我时兴高采烈. 跟一岁半时送DAYCARE 相差天和地. 一年前送她去DAYCARE, 感冒, 发烧, 咳嗽. 每天送她都哭. 半年后留在家里现在再去DAYCARE , 看来完全适应. 第一, 也许是大了点; 第二, 她今天FULL DAY 去 DAYCARE 前, 我有一个星期每天带她到DAYCARE 玩, 认识老师认识其他小朋友; 第三, 好的DAYCARE 很重要, 她的老师告诉我今天有两三个小朋友整天拉着我女儿的手玩, 想起一年前女儿去的DAYCARE 有一个老师女儿见到她就哭. 环境很重要, 虽然原来的DAYCARE 比现在的每天便宜五块钱, 我还是觉得有必要换. 作为妈妈, 有必要多和老师交流, 认识所有的老师, 阿姨, 厨师 和 DIRECTOR. 让她们知道你担心什么, 让她们了解你的小孩. 就我两个小孩去DAYCARE 的经历, 小孩去DAYCARE 对大人小孩都好.
    • We sent our daughter to daycare when she was 10-month old. Now she is 22 months and her English is better than us. The only problem is she meets too few chinese kids in daycare. -uwofri(0x2B||!0x2B); 2005-9-2 (#2483639@0)
      • why problem? my daughter never met any chinese kids in day care, but her Chinese is still better than her English. -rainzw(rainzw); 2005-9-2 (#2483839@0)
        • 我昨天去问了TAKE CARE，好贵呀！一个月FULL DAY，要CAD760。怎负担？ -sailon(sailon); 2005-9-2 (#2484211@0)
          • some daycare is double this price - around $1500 per month. -novice1(novice1); 2005-9-2 (#2484266@0)
          • not the most expensive day care. -rainzw(rainzw); 2005-9-4 (#2486465@0)
          • This is the cheapest one I have ever heard. -whistle(狗狗); 2005-9-6 (#2488718@0)
        • 抱歉，去野营了，没来得及回。我顾虑的不是她的语言问题，而是如何加强她对华人小孩的认同感，周围的华人小孩毕竟太少了。前几天，还发现了另一个问题，就是她不爱吃我们做的饭，专爱吃cheese，hotdog。 -uwofri(0x2B||!0x2B); 2005-9-5 (#2488039@0)
          • 这个可能要看你们的社交圈子，如果和华人来往较多，就应该没有问题。另外，也许孩子对于族类的区别没有我们大人敏感，所以也不用太操心。 -rainzw(rainzw); 2005-9-6 {210} (#2488396@0)
            我们原来住在大学附近，华人很多，女儿和朋友的孩子玩得很好。搬了家，邻居都是西人，她们照样都能打成一片，倒是男孩子女孩子会自动分开了，我们住的一片好几家都是俩女儿，一天我数了一下，七个丫头从一岁到七岁都在一起疯！

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