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@Las Vegas

最好两全其美。 就象你们couple一样快快乐乐， 连上网的乐趣都分享。

haohaohuaihuai(dreamer)
本文发表在 rolia.net 枫下论坛please excuse me for writing in English because my speed is so slow in Chinese.

I am not a greedy woman on assets. my dream is family stay together, happy and sad together, watch the kid growing up, go to view when we have vocation---actually this was my previous life. Now everything is disappear with his leaving for China from my life.

I feel sad today because he told me he wants to be an Academician in the future (before he came back China, I told him " you got everything you need now, think about your family's future" and he said yes yes yes. Only three months he changed his mind), which means my life is the same as I married with a man staying in prison whole life. Because once he got the position, there is no retirement age. Even if he won't arrive there, it is still a terrible idea for my family. It is very hard to do rearch and get results no matter in States or in China. He is very honest and old style (but he is not old).

I always act as a psychology physician in my friends' life. Now I become a patient. I feel so confused about the life and even asked myself hundreds times" be alive in the world for what?!"

I really have no idea about tomorrow.更多精彩文章及讨论，请光临枫下论坛 rolia.net
(#294818@0)
Last Updated: 2001-12-12
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Replies, comments and Discussions:

  • 枫下拾英 / 心情随笔 / 心里很难过。。我还要不要回去了？ -haohaohuaihuai(dreamer); 2001-12-11 {282} (#294187@0)
    心里很难过。不为性， 而为小家的走向。在北美呆了四年多， 今年9月， 老公回国（回大学）发展， 年薪十几万。我有时也想回去， 但一想起两年多前回国时的情景就有点怕。 当年重回大学时， 从校门走到自己的学院，一路被问“为什么回来？” 走到已工作了十年的地方时， 眼泪都出来了。我还要不要回去了？
    • 如果我是你，老公到哪里发展，我就去哪里。看你追求的是什么，如果你无所谓小家庭的存在，那你可以选择分居，不然十有八九，爱情是经不起距离和时空的折腾。人的本性不是那么忠贞不渝的。三思 -xixihaha(xixihaha); 2001-12-11 (#294195@0)
      • 我很重视家庭的。但他觉得现在这样也很好。 -haohaohuaihuai(dreamer); 2001-12-11 (#294202@0)
        • 这样也很好？你得问问怎么个好法。 -winterblue(winterblue); 2001-12-11 (#294210@0)
          • 我守得一个公民身份（为儿子吧）， 以后回去以否他随便我。当然他还没那么快就有新欢。 -haohaohuaihuai(dreamer); 2001-12-11 (#294226@0)
            • 咦，池言差矣...理论上产生新欢的书都和"守得一个公民身份（为儿子吧）， 以后回去以否他随便我"这个条件无关 -ra95(C&C); 2001-12-11 (#294251@0)
            • 产生新欢的因素是与公民无关，而与年薪十几万有密切关系，至少20％花在别的女人身上乐。否则为何wife们喜欢加拿大呢？来之前十几万的大侠很多，你最好先找他们了解一下年薪十几万的业余生活是什么。 -ttl(㊣羊肉泡馍); 2001-12-11 (#294287@0)
              • 我市来之前十几千的大侠...我非常非常非常非常非常非常非常非常非常非常非常非常非常非常非常非常非常非常非常怀念在中国炮妞的日子...... :(... -ra95(C&C); 2001-12-11 (#294353@0)
                • 炮？靠，真刀真枪，你以为是C&C啊，佩服佩服！ -jinq(jinq); 2001-12-11 (#294357@0)
                  • 看样子， 找个干净点的男人太不容易了。 看来还得回去看紧点儿。 -haohaohuaihuai(dreamer); 2001-12-11 (#294496@0)
                    • 干净点儿？这个词听着有点怪，呵呵。 -suis(une chinoise); 2001-12-11 (#294702@0)
        • 我只知道一个作老公的，如果爱他太太，肯定是希望两人在一起的，不信你可以问问这里的先生。 -xixihaha(xixihaha); 2001-12-12 (#294828@0)
      • 人的本性真的那么三心二意的吗？ 特别是男人？99%？---- 我要回去的话， 我的孩子以后不得象我们一样在国外从头来起？把我们的困惑和迷乱留给下一代？我真的不希望孩子在国内接收中等以上教育。 -haohaohuaihuai(dreamer); 2001-12-11 (#294528@0)
        • 你是希望“自己这辈子就算了，孩子要过最好的生活。”还是“自己过最好的生活，孩子让他自己奋斗去。”？仔细考虑，慎重考虑。 -bingle(bingle); 2001-12-11 (#294552@0)
          • 最好两全其美。 就象你们couple一样快快乐乐， 连上网的乐趣都分享。 -haohaohuaihuai(dreamer); 2001-12-12 {1200} (#294818@0)
            本文发表在 rolia.net 枫下论坛please excuse me for writing in English because my speed is so slow in Chinese.

            I am not a greedy woman on assets. my dream is family stay together, happy and sad together, watch the kid growing up, go to view when we have vocation---actually this was my previous life. Now everything is disappear with his leaving for China from my life.

            I feel sad today because he told me he wants to be an Academician in the future (before he came back China, I told him " you got everything you need now, think about your family's future" and he said yes yes yes. Only three months he changed his mind), which means my life is the same as I married with a man staying in prison whole life. Because once he got the position, there is no retirement age. Even if he won't arrive there, it is still a terrible idea for my family. It is very hard to do rearch and get results no matter in States or in China. He is very honest and old style (but he is not old).

            I always act as a psychology physician in my friends' life. Now I become a patient. I feel so confused about the life and even asked myself hundreds times" be alive in the world for what?!"

            I really have no idea about tomorrow.更多精彩文章及讨论，请光临枫下论坛 rolia.net
            • Bingle和Pingle自有他们的烦恼。 -bingle(bingle); 2001-12-12 {973} (#294925@0)
              和你一样，我们两个也总是冲在劝解、宽慰他人的前线，看上去似乎我们总是很快活，很会生活。其实不然，因为难题并不是发生在自己身上，所谓‘站着说话不腰疼’即此意。

              和每一个人一样，我们也总是在面对自己的问题，难题只有到了自己头上，才是一个真正的难题。如果我遇到你的问题，我同样会不知道该如何是好，而且我相信大多数人在此情况下也都会很烦恼。

              烦恼归烦恼，但是必须意识到，“两全其美”其实是不可能的。生而为人，而不是能够呼风唤雨的神仙，我们只能学会放弃。这一点上，我非常非常感激Pingle。我因为工作的原因需要搬到北京，她经过考虑决定放弃自己非常满意的工作，一起搬来。我知道这个决定背后是什么：她需要重新开始职业选择（现在选择了CGA）。

              作为局外人，并不能帮你做任何的决定，只能说出自己的想法供你参考。除了我在上一个贴子中说的以外，唯一能给你的建议就是“沟通”。因为很多问题我们不愿意面对，不愿意说出来，总是说“到时候再说吧”。但是问题和矛盾并不因我们的这种态度而消失，它仍然会存在。

              我相信这也一定是你给朋友出过的建议。多沟通，也许它无助于问题的消失，但至少能够帮我们认清问题。
              • 同意！懂得放弃和妥协，非常重要，即使有多少个不能放弃的理由。 -pingle(pingle); 2001-12-12 (#295040@0)
                • 喂，你两个家伙是不是互相聊天沟通也要通过ROLIA？GOD！！！ -guoguo(我是龙虾猪); 2001-12-12 (#295058@0)
                • That means I will give up. -haohaohuaihuai(dreamer); 2001-12-12 {494} (#295295@0)
                  I really have so many reasons not to come back, such as I even had a very good position before I left for US, the kid, the job. Since I have been here, I fellowed his behind to go to where he went. Now again, I have to move again? Within 5 years, We moved to 3 defferent country with our cases. Maybe after we come back to China 5 years, we will move Ca. again. He is not sure about because everything depends his development.

                  I lost myself and he never notice that point.

                  Thanks, P and B
    • 我的想法：走自己的路，不要回原单位，要到环境好的地方去发展 -111111(快乐老家); 2001-12-11 (#294199@0)
    • 先别哭，慢点说，看不懂。 -winterblue(winterblue); 2001-12-11 (#294201@0)
      • 这里现在是局为会，大家都是老大马，专门安慰失落青年! -ra95(C&C); 2001-12-11 (#294242@0)
        • 你做老大妈，我们当社工。 -suis(une chinoise); 2001-12-11 (#294279@0)
    • 千金难买有情狼 -mcdonald(麦当劳); 2001-12-11 (#294362@0)
    • 扔钢蹦儿定夺。 -laoxi(Laoxi); 2001-12-12 (#295114@0)

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