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Hi, Banban. Thank you for these beautiful poem. I love this "The beauty of a woman Must be seen from in her eyes, Because that is the doorway to her heart, The place where love resides"

Never too earlier; never too late;

I guess my main point is enjoying each stage of life; balancing and trying to maintain multiple angles of our lives while we are fairly young so that we won't be torn down when any one of them tearing down.

Seeing the discussion around aging, so typing down my thoughts. Maybe only until we are actual reaching certain age, we can actually sense the pins and needles, just like we know how great our parents are only when we became parents and went through the different stages of raising up a child.

I know it is easy to talk but hard to carry out. As long as we are keep promoting this postive attitude to the people around us, I believe it is helpful for us and others. :):)
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  • Capitalizing on aging (Long --- If you are busy, please mind your time.)
    本文发表在 rolia.net 枫下论坛Talking about ages, I think what we can do is capitalizing on aging. This is my feeling to share. I don’t know if it will generate any courage to others, but I gain my strength while typing these words down. Sometimes, dump and brave is so hard to be differentiated.

    The fall suddenly arrived as if the blossoming summer was a beautiful dream. Time went so fast.

    My daughter got sick these days, so I stay at home to look after her. This morning, I woke my son up with a kiss and he said, “Mama, your lip is so warm.” My heart is melted at that moment. They are my assets with unlimited useful life.

    Since I stepped into middle thirty, questions got stuck in my mind, for example, have I taken root firmly on the ground? How many years make me a resident of Canada? … I guess this is so-called middle age crisis.

    Trying to get out of this box, I started to think why not just being a cosmopolitan instead of Canadian as we eventually can’t become local, maybe so does my kids. We landed up in Canada is seeking better suitable life style but not suffering and for sure it is also more than learning English or a certain major or job. “When you are smiling, the whole world smiles with you; when you are crying, you bring on the rain.” Don’t let the rain ruin our own roof as we will have to maintain the roof afterwards by ourselves.

    Nobody can stop aging; however, age also gifts us poise, grace, experience, empathy, knowledge, perseverance, tolerance and sensitivity … all these great traits are desirable in both our life and workplace. While aging, there may be higher chances to develop some behaviors, such as: gossip, complaints, frown eyebrow or being too smart … Be alert to these and stay away from these. Instead of making coward explanation, straightly facing the cause and the effect may pamper us better. The positive energy may work out for reducing a fine line on our forehead, around our eyes, a grey hair or at least make us feel happier. What else we could do except carrying ourselves well while getting older. Capitalizing on an opportunity to differentiate ourselves with young kids will build up our brand. And our value and principle won’t change from one company to another. And these traits won’t fade simply because of aging.

    Maybe many people don’t agree with me but I truly believe balance and sustainability is more critical than anything else in our lives. Triangle is the most stable shape. So family, work and study are all important. Tying to spread out our focus, so that we won’t be too lonely when kids go to school; we won’t be too frustrated when we get restructured; we won’t be too depressed when we failed certain subject. Life is a spectrum. Certain failures we will all have to experience. I think if we diversify our lives and are long prepared for rainy days. We can see rainbow soon. Comparing with many people here, I am certainly a 后进分子. Life continues. I wish I could have done many things earlier and faster but I failed and I started to call myself turtle --- just being a perseverant turtle.

    Yesterday is history; tomorrow is mystery; today is a gift! (Gongfu Panda)更多精彩文章及讨论,请光临枫下论坛 rolia.net
    • Love this, good point!
      • Thanks for feedback, Yanmeimei! Maybe it sounds like lecture and not many people like it. But every sentence is from my heart. If I have sisters, I will share the same with her .
        • I almost missed your beautifl article. Thanks for sharing. At one stage of my life, I felt the same way, though I would probably call it maturing instead of aging.
          本文发表在 rolia.net 枫下论坛Have you read "Blue Night"? let me borrow author Joan Didion's own word.. This book is called Blue Nights because at the time I began it I found my mind turning increasingly to illness, to the end of promise, the dwindling of the days, the inevitability of the fading, the dying of the brightness...
          I don't want to talk too much about this book. I personally think "Blue Night" can not be compared to "The year of magical thinking". However, I couldn't write anything that is better than what she did.
          It might be reading this book or "Loneliness of the dying" (by Elias) or changes in my department that triggered a chain of sentimental reflection. Only in recent days, I am able to have a glimps of "aging", or viewing aging in a different way. Maybe that's a sign of dementia as well : )
          You know, at this age, we are not easily 伤春悲秋. We accept the fact that the inevitable decline is to come. All I wish is to die gracefully and quicly and wish that I still have this courage when get to the point. Before that? Let's enjoy as much as we can. BTW, that's also my father's motto.更多精彩文章及讨论,请光临枫下论坛 rolia.net
          • Well written. I believe meimei is a 兰心蕙质 girl. People who like reading must have more appreciation of life.
            I want to say, what a small world! What a coincidence! One of my friends recommended Joan Didion to me a few months ago. The background of these two books are too sorrowful and sad to me. Even though Joan is writing her feeling in a warm tone, I was not sure if I can handle the feeling of loss; I was not sure if I want to create a fear for what is still to be lost. So I put them aside. Now you brought up my interest again. Should I read them?

            Life is a spectrum. I don't want to exaggerate or emphasize the heavy side even though I know it is realistically existing. Maybe I am still fairly fragile. Like watching movie, I normally particulary only pick comedy. Things all have two sides and we are deciding zoom in, zoom out, or to be objective. Being objective is difficult to be measured. So to me, I zoom out sorrow and sadness, zoom in joy and happiness.

            Thank you for sincere comments. I quote one from Kong Fu Zi: ":“芝兰生幽谷,不以无人而不芳,君子修道立德,不为穷困而改节”。"
    • What can be capitalized? A great article making me think:
      I believe it's a wisdom. A wisdom is purely based on aging. It teaches me the difference between what we can change and what we cannot and how we react. I really like the combination of such quiteness and boldness.

      I am thinking:

      成熟是什么呢?- 首当其冲还是一种智慧,这种智慧教你如何分辨哪些是无法改变的,哪些是可以改变的。对于无法改变的事,从容接受。对于可以改变的事,勇于突破。惟有宁静和魄力的结合,才能感受成长的喜悦。
      ——————————————————————
      英文没有你好,中文也不大好,随便写写,顶你的文章。
      • Wow, 小快, Rolia celebrity, :) Thank you for your support and facilitate the discussion further. Well said:" 惟有宁静和魄力的结合,才能感受成长的喜悦。"
        I am impressive with many of your previous posts. I respect you as an accounting professional has your own insights and don't simply follow the water flow. I really like what you said:" 惟有宁静和魄力的结合,才能感受成长的喜悦。" and you are demonstrating this from my eyes.
    • 看完之后两个感想:写的真好,英文真好
      • Thank you for your encouragement, Cindy! Your comments make me feel I somehow know you before.
        I can't input Chinese in my computer and I purposely didn't install in order to type English more. However, only Chinese can keep me warm and close. I don't have an English name, so my colleagues call my first name normally. One day, I heard somebody called me name in the order of last name and first name which suddenly shortened our distance and we are friends nows.
    • You’re too young to talk about aging… :)
      As we growing older, we are getting more experienced and stronger and we are learning to live our life to the fullest.

      As long as I am healthy and able to do what I like, I don’t mind growing older… :)

      Let's enjoy every day of our journey in life.

      “The Beauty of a Woman
      Is not in the clothes she wears,
      Not the figure that she carries,
      Or the way she combs her hair.

      The beauty of a woman
      Must be seen from in her eyes,
      Because that is the doorway to her heart,
      The place where love resides.

      The beauty of a woman
      Is not in a facial mole,
      But true beauty in a woman
      Is reflected in her soul.
      It is the caring that she lovingly gives,
      The passion that she shows,
      And the beauty of a woman
      With passing years only grows!"
      • Hi, Banban. Thank you for these beautiful poem. I love this "The beauty of a woman Must be seen from in her eyes, Because that is the doorway to her heart, The place where love resides"
        Never too earlier; never too late;

        I guess my main point is enjoying each stage of life; balancing and trying to maintain multiple angles of our lives while we are fairly young so that we won't be torn down when any one of them tearing down.

        Seeing the discussion around aging, so typing down my thoughts. Maybe only until we are actual reaching certain age, we can actually sense the pins and needles, just like we know how great our parents are only when we became parents and went through the different stages of raising up a child.

        I know it is easy to talk but hard to carry out. As long as we are keep promoting this postive attitude to the people around us, I believe it is helpful for us and others. :):)