本文发表在 rolia.net 枫下论坛All memories have faded out. On that quiet summer afternoon, I walked in the shade of the grape vine. Sunshine speared through the vines and blinded my eyes. I sat on a bench. There was melancholy floating over in the air. I was sitting there for quite long and wondering if after many years I could still remember that moment. There must have been a reason that I want to keep that moment in the memory. However years past, I can only remember the trivial moment of my sitting under the grape vine on a summer afternoon. Why I was walking there, why I felt so despondent, I coudn’t remember at all.

There was a lady who was always in black living in our neighborhood. She lost her son who died in an air crash. He was a pilot and was the pride of our neighborhood. When the news of his death was disclosed to her, she collapsed. She isolated herself in her home for a long time. When finally she braved to walk out of her home, she looked like a ghost to me. She tried to put on a smile sometimes when she saw me, but I could still read the pang in her face and smell the sorrow of a mother. That was the first time that I have watched the depression of death so close. I had never thought of death before. Is death like falling forever into darkness? Is death going to another world we never known? Or is death just like angels lifting us on her warm wings to the beautiful heaven? If death will do the loved ones apart, what is the difference between hell and heaven?

My dad's voice was broken on the other side of the line, I said ‘ I will be home soon, father. ’ trying to press the lump in my throat down.

I prayed, ‘If only time can be turned back, …’

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